Friday, April 12, 2013

Working Mother



I recently read an article Moms: Making Working Outside The Home Worth It--7 Ways To Do It on my favorite financial blog site And Then We Saved.  (This site is how it all started with the idea to do our own Family Financial Fasting--click here to see how our journey started.)  A lot of "working mother" articles stereotypically assume that working mothers "have" to work, and give the impression that every female in America who has borne children longs to stay home if given the choice.  I'm here to say:  this is not the case for all of us.

This particular article about working mothers kind of struck me as a "this is my life" snapshot.  I've never really thought of our family structure....me working full-time, Bryan staying home full-time....as a form of financial fasting.  But in reality, there are a lot of sacrifices we make in our family in order to make it work.  We know that we are still the rare couple--we have met a few stay-home-dads....but not a lot.  But we're essentially no different than a lot of households who have one income and the other parent stays home to focus on child-raising.  We just do it in the opposite roles.

Here's how we've made it work financially:

1.  We have been a one-car family for over six years.  Yes--there are times it's rather inconvenient.  But with a little creativity, and a lot of planning ahead, it can be done. 

2.  With the one-car strategy, comes additional decisions:  when we moved to a new town, we intentionally chose a neighborhood close to my work.  Then we found activities for the kids close to our house.  We do a lot of zig-zag driving back and forth with three kids and a working mom schedule; but everywhere we go is within a three mile circle.  It's just not worth it to have to drive across town--and back, and back again--and spend all that time in the car.

3.  Working relatively close to home (1.5 miles), I go home for lunch every day.  I see a number of my co-workers eating out on a regular basis.  Really?!  Let's say lunch costs $7--that's roughly $160 a month....and $1820 a year!

4.  The article above lists work-related savings:  the office betting pool, weekly happy hour, monthly employee-funded birthday parties.  My office recently did a March Madness pool--this was easy to pass on because I don't really care about sports!  But, I admit it was tempting to "join the club" and be involved with everyone else.....just to throw money away.  I've also discreetly passed on multiple requests for gifts for employees leaving the company, babies being born, surgeries/medical issues, birthdays.....and who knows what else.  If I participated in every one, it could have easily been $100 a month.  (Now some of you might disagree with this strategy--if you're one of the office gift-givers, go right ahead!)

5.  Weekly meal planning:  we make a menu for the entire week, try to use groceries/staples we already have, then make our grocery list according to the meal plan.  If our schedule has a night with busy events, we'll plan a time-bake casserole or a crock-pot meal.  We also try to keep a few homemade freezer meals stored, so if we have a "we don't have time" night, we can pop it into the oven or microwave.  In our pre-financial-fasting past--we had many nights of "I don't feel like cooking, let's go out".....not any more!

6.  As a supervisor, I do dress up somewhat for work--but that doesn't mean spending a lot of money on clothes.  One recent perk from my office is a yearly "Bag Lady Exchange" where we clean out our closets and bring those clothes we no longer want.  Then we all forage through everyone else's bags, and come home with new-to-you clothes.  I recently scored two weeks' worth of new clothes!  I'm also pretty selective when buying anything new--I absolutely refuse dry-clean-only, NO WAY!  And I rarely buy something at full price: 30% off or more is my goal--no 10% sale is worth it in my eyes!

There are lots of reasons mothers work: some out of necessity, some of us choose this lifestyle.  "Working mother" is not for everyone....."stay-home-dad" is not for everyone either.  But as for us....we wouldn't have it any other way.

Monday, April 1, 2013

Financial Fasting On Vacation

So.....like many things in my life, I have this nice little plan to blog every week....and then, well, "stuff" gets in the way.  But--I'm back now!  And hopefully more faithful about financial updates.  Writing about our journey helps us to stay accountable and stick with the commitment.

When we made the initial decision for Family Fasting, one of the decisions we made was to cut out as many out-of-town trips and vacations as possible.  In our pre-financial-fasting past vacations, we would come home flabbergasted at how much spending--necessary and unnecessary--actually occurred.  Somehow it seemed money just disappeared....this is what happens when you're not watching.  We started fasting in October, and though it wasn't an easy decision by any means, we opted to forgo our out-of-town Thanksgiving with the extended family.  We calculated that this decision potentially saved us over $700--gas, football tickets, zoo-lights event, big city Christmas shopping, and other spending that likely would have occurred.  Christmas was another "do we or don't we" travel decision--then we found ourselves with a free timeshare (thank you mom-in-law!) and the opportunity to vacation after the actual holiday, therefore diminishing the need for ongoing gift spending.  Other than the cost of gas, we calculated this vacation would be almost next to nothing in actual spending.

For spring break, we discussed how far we had come in our financial fasting and allowed a little pat on our backs that we are finally ahead of the money target, instead of constantly behind.  BUT....we wanted to stay ahead, and not fall back into old patterns, so we discussed at length what our family vacation options might look like.  We used the free time share again (why sure, we'll help you out with those unused extra points you have! ) and planned a simple family vacation with a few of the extended family.  My family likes the fact that my husband is the family chef, so Bryan and I do all the meal-planning ahead of time, buy the groceries when we get there, then we all split the cost.  In reality, the cost of groceries is a wash--we plan inexpensive meals that cost roughly the same as what our weekly groceries would have cost if we had stayed home.  Since we were going to a little Bavarian tourist town, we planned for one out-to-eat meal.  We also decided ahead of time how much spending money we would allow ourselves--so we used the cash from the family grocery reimbursement as our target.



Strategy 1--map out the driving distance and estimate the real cost of gas to get there and back home.  Decide ahead of time whether on-site driving will be part of the vacation, and if so, how much gas for that too.  You can't control the price of gas, but you can budget for it ahead of time.

Strategy 2--plan menus, and eat in rather than eat out.  This takes a little bit of strategizing because you won't have all those little staples from home--do you buy butter or do you plan butter-less meals?  Are flour, sugar, spices required?--probably better re-think the menu.  Plan a flexible menu that can include leftovers on the last day so you're not wasting all that grocery money if there's extra food.  If there's room, take a cooler and bring items you already have at home that would otherwise go to waste while you're gone.  And don't forget to plan an easy meal for the return home night, after traveling.

Strategy 3--set a spending money goal, and use cash.  It's much easier to keep track of how much is being spent--and how much is still left--when you have actual paper money.  Debit cards are too easy to let spending accumulate and then the receipts get totaled (gasp!) once you get home.

Strategy 4--give the kids a spending allowance:  the parents set the amount, but the kids are allowed to choose what they spend it on.  In our case, we allowed each kid $10 and encouraged them to not make a decision until we had visited all the stores.  We also taught them lessons on price-comparing amongst the various shops--we found the same item in three stores at three different prices.

One little side note on #2--we did plan a back-home meal, which we made prior to vacation and put in the freezer.  But we didn't account for getting back home right at dinner time.....and we'd still have to un-thaw the meal (which was in an aluminum container = no microwave thawing).  So we ended up going to Costco fast-food counter.  As a cost comparison:  our one out-to-eat meal was a modest but not over-spent meal for $60 for our family of five; our after-vacation Costco meal for a family of five was.....$16.  We might decide to keep that Costco membership after all!